i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
