I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize