i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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