honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
