We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
