It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?