Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

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  (631): i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world http://tfl.nu/qaz3
  Replies (30) Good night (6832) Bad night (1205)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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  (765): He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder. http://tfl.nu/7khc
  Replies (81) Good night (16885) Bad night (2793)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod

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  (859): i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod http://tfl.nu/ur38
  Replies (11) Good night (5568) Bad night (859)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (302): I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/y6ds
  Replies (12) Good night (5106) Bad night (1001)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.

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  (850): Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes. http://tfl.nu/ng3j
  Replies (4) Good night (2898) Bad night (744)
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  (818): View more from California

  I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.

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  (818): I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/bcax
  Replies (8) Good night (2754) Bad night (950)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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  (618): Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight.... http://tfl.nu/4lm3
  Replies (5) Good night (2221) Bad night (1024)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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  (512): I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench. http://tfl.nu/bsle
  Replies (9) Good night (3310) Bad night (987)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?

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  (205): remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/cz0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (872)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.

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  (989): Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am. http://tfl.nu/mfa3
  Replies (16) Good night (5096) Bad night (1056)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities

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  (817): But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities http://tfl.nu/pt4w
  Replies (10) Good night (2523) Bad night (714)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?

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  (540): The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad? http://tfl.nu/48x6
  Replies (21) Good night (1086) Bad night (4682)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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  (845): I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/cl86
  Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (285)
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  (831): View more from California

  I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.

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  (831): I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life. http://tfl.nu/o2k1
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (268)
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  (714): View more from California

  Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.

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  (714): Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth. http://tfl.nu/x54l
  Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (272)

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