I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
