ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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