Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
