What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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