Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
