So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
