Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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