Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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