Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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