You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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