I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
