i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
