miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
