yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize