In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
