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Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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