After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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