So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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