I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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