At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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