Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
