wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
