If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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