Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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