bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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