Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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