i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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