He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
