Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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