i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
