Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the day after is always just damage control
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
