You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just tell him i said nine months
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
