so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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