Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We are two peas in an std pod
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
