All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
