So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
