I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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