soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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