I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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