you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
