your parents love me but you hate me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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