If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
