So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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