she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
