He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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