i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
