I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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