you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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