I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
