I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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