Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
