What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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