please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
