I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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