um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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