you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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