Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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