I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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