you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
