watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize